Have your thought about this ?
Did it ever occur to you what happen at your funeral ?
I did !
I have always felt (thought) that i will die young. As in YOUNG (not above 30 ~ 50 years old).
- which may explain why at times, I do things without thinking much. Just do it !
- which may explain why at times, I just dont give a damn ! Turn it on !
Why ? I don’t know.
It’s just this freaky feeling. I have always thought that I will not live to see the world for long.
It’s just a gut’s feeling …
Sometimes, I will have the thought / feeling *while driving* of driving through a crossroad (not speeding eh) and out of nowhere, a lorry rams into my vehicle from the side and that it ! That’s the end of me. Hikayat Ghostraider !
It’s just like in those movies where suddenly, from nowhere, the train comes rushing out from the corner of your eyes and before you know it, the loud whistling of the train continue with a loud bang ! What is left are the tiny bits scattered around to be collected and be send to the junkyart / mortuary.
Over the years, I have slowly and gradually (reluctantly) accepted that part of me even if I wish to deny.
And, the next thing that came acros my mind will be …
what will happen at my funeral ?
Who would be at my funeral ? YOU ?
Which one of you will give an eulogy about me ? And how would it sounds like ?
Will it be a sad occasion ? Or it’s one of those moments where everyone remembers ?
Will it a happy occasion where it’s like the reunion of family and friends ?
hhhmmm… I wonder… I ponder …
Are you gonna attend my funeral ? And what will you do ? Will you be sad momentarily or forever ?
which one of you will actually cry ? Are those tears genuine ? or was it’s merely croc tears ?
Were they really crying for who I am or was it because of the ambience ? And how will I be remembered ?
Is it because for the lost of a loved or was it because of what one said ?
A blue rose … 
that is what I will ask for.
Why blue rose ? Dont ask me !
No idea ! but I just found out what it meant 
Maybe because it is unique …
Maybe because it is hard to get …
Maybe its because it is special and it shows the effort one takes to get it and appreciate me …
And there I will be, looking for the sky (cos I am in heaven ?) and watching all of you …
I hope I won’t get sad watching it …
I hope I won’t get mad watching it …
I hope I won’t regret watching it …
But, guess I will have to wait …….
- There are so many things I have yet to do !
- There are yet so many things that I have yet to experience !
- There are so many places that I have yet to see !
