Had that feeling again ….
was having a drink alone by the bar in Laundry and suddenly, this feeling came all back to me.
I feel moody …
I feel lifeless …
I feel no sense of directions …
I feel bored with life …
I dont know what I am doing. I just feel that life is boring. There is no excitement in it. It’s always work, sleep, work sleep with the occasionally sports day or hanging out with friends doing the same old it. It’s like a routine ! it’s so boring !
It made me feel like there is nothing to look forward. I dont feel anything ! Is that good or bad ? I DONT KNOW ! All I know is that, here I am, sitting alone by the bar .. drinking and reflecting what I have done ! It’s basically work, work and work ! The thoughts itself was dull ! But what can I do ?
Then I started sms-ing everyone. Just to ease my boredom. Meantime, felt like useless. Nothing to do. Look for friends ? That’s where I realise that no one besides me. I am alone. The lone ranger. Dont feel like calling anyone. That’s as if there is someone else to call-la …
Things gone through my mind. What was I thinking ? What do I actually want in life ? I am actually contended with what I have for now. You say car .. dah ada. You say place of stay … dah ada. in the process pula … then what else
Tapi, the lifestyle of always reviewing and rushing for deadlines just sux ! It’s as if nothing else better to do. So what can I do ?!
I am just tired with it. I just feeling like striking a lottery and away with the problem (for a moment). I just wanna get away for some time and relax. I just wanna do what I want to do … without thinking much !
In the end, I am still back in office as this hour, trying to rush for targets. Trying to get things done which I have targeted for the day / weekend which I couldnt possibly do during working hours. And yet, I dont feel I have the time for myself …
sigh … 我累了。。。
